BORGER, TX — Rebellious four-year-old Brayden Wheeler defied millennia of norms and convention this morning as instead of going down the slide at the playground, he climbed up.
A daredevil renegade with an attitude to match, Wheeler posed at the top of the slide as other children soaked in the anarchy they had just witnessed.
"Absolute legend," said local mom Stacy Miller, as she watched Wheeler. "Did you see how, in lieu of going down the slide, he went up? Not a care at the world, no thought for what society says. It's like, take your expectations and shove them. That is one bad hombre."
Wheeler had reportedly just descended from the slide when he turned around, and as the other children gawked, began his ascent. "What... what is he doing?" whispered five-year-old Bennett Samuel. "No way. You're supposed to go down the slide. Doesn't he know? Doesn't he care? I can't believe what I'm seeing."
At publishing time, Wheeler had cemented his status as a wild revolutionary by going down the slide headfirst.
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