10 Things Husbands Suffer That Are More Painful Than Childbirth
Family · Jul 29, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

If you're a husband, you probably know that the most difficult physical ordeal that your wife will ever go through is the experience of childbirth. Women say that there's nothing like it. Allegedly.

But did you know that there are some things that only men suffer which are far more painful? We at the Babylon Bee have done the tough work of interviewing several real husbands — here's a list of 10 manly experiences that are far more painful than childbirth. Take a look!

  1. Watching childbirth: It's an ordeal like no other.

  2. Having to get up after you just sat down: You just got comfortable and now you have to move. Awful.

  3. Mild cold: It's not funny. These are life-threatening to men. Stop laughing.

  4. Both legs falling asleep while playing Clash Royale on the toilet: You were limping for several minutes afterward.

  5. Assembling anything from IKEA: Try doing this without foul language. Impossible.

  6. Having to explain why they couldn't just use the Eagles to fly the Ring to Mordor: It might be excruciating, but it's one of the most rewarding things a man can do when it's all over.

  7. Hearing that story for the eighth time about that intolerable thing your wife's sister's friend said last week: You just need to breathe, honey. BREATHE.

  8. Lipping out a two-foot putt for triple bogey: Women just can't comprehend the pain.

  9. Clothes shopping "dates": Unimaginable agony that can last for hours.

  10. The horrific thought of ‘President Kamala Harris': Nurse? Nurse? NURSE!!!

Well, there you go — now you have a small idea of just how tough men can have it. Next time your wife complains about her childbearing experiences, just whip this list out and give her some much!


BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW:

Click here to find out how you can watch the movie when it releases on October 11

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now