10 Shocking Signs Of Biden's Decline Everyone Missed

U.S. · May 14, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
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Jake Tapper dropped an absolute bombshell this week, reporting that despite all evidence to the contrary, former President Joe Biden actually suffered severe physical and mental decline during his presidency. How did we all miss this? Looking back in hindsight, here are ten shocking signs we can't believe everyone overlooked:

  1. When he appeared at a press conference with burn marks on his shirt from where they used the paddles: In retrospect, a bit concerning.

  2. Started narrating his own life in the third person, but referring to himself as "Ben Matlock": It seemed so innocent.

  3. Could only make public appearances if he was strapped to a laboratory table and struck by lightning to be reanimated: Should have been a red flag.

  4. When his face fell off and they had to hurry and glue it back on: Wow. That's pretty bad.

  5. Tried to organize a formal state dinner for him and his favorite cartoons: He was so devastated Betty Boop didn't make it.

  6. Began keeping an old sorcerer on staff to keep him alive with dark magic: Perhaps we ought to have been concerned.

  7. Was declared clinically dead by a licensed medical professional: Can't believe this didn't raise any alarm.

  8. Rigor mortis: Okay, maybe we should have picked up on this.

  9. Slept in a coffin: He seemed so cozy.

  10. That time he picked Kamala Harris as running mate: The signs were there.

How could we not have seen? Thank you, Jake Tapper, for finally uncovering the truth.


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