If you're gearing up to attend Easter service at a megachurch, you're in for an exciting Sunday.
The Babylon Bee has surveyed megachurches across America to come up with the following list of events coming your way to celebrate Christ's resurrection:
Chocolate crosses for everyone in attendance: A delicious reminder of Christ's excruciating sacrifice.
John the Baptist's Dunk Tank: A new record for church baptisms will be set this weekend.
The Passion of the Easter Bunny: Follow the journey of the most central figure of the holiday.
Worship led by Kid Rock: Including fireworks and a military flyover.
Pin-the-Tail on a Live Donkey: The dramatization of the Triumphant Entry has never been this lively.
Unleavened bread eating contest: How many loaves can you stuff down your gullet?
Holy Roller Coaster: You must be taller than Zacchaeus to enjoy this ride at one huge Pentecostal church.
Raffle for one lucky visitor to receive a Roman flogging: Steve will be waiting over in the corner with the whip.
Sermon by guest speaker Carrot Top: Wait until you see the props he uses to unlock the Scriptures.
Resurrection Stunt Spectacular: Experience the thrill of Jesus defeating death and the grave in a John Wick-style fight scene.
Get ready for the most insanely exciting Easter of your life! What else should megachurch visitors expect to see this Sunday? Post your ideas in the comments.
Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?
