If you're gearing up to attend Easter service at a megachurch, you're in for an exciting Sunday.
The Babylon Bee has surveyed megachurches across America to come up with the following list of events coming your way to celebrate Christ's resurrection:
Chocolate crosses for everyone in attendance: A delicious reminder of Christ's excruciating sacrifice.
John the Baptist's Dunk Tank: A new record for church baptisms will be set this weekend.
The Passion of the Easter Bunny: Follow the journey of the most central figure of the holiday.
Worship led by Kid Rock: Including fireworks and a military flyover.
Pin-the-Tail on a Live Donkey: The dramatization of the Triumphal Entry has never been this lively.
Unleavened bread eating contest: How many loaves can you stuff down your gullet?
Holy Roller Coaster: You must be taller than Zacchaeus to enjoy this ride at one huge Pentecostal church.
Raffle for one lucky visitor to receive a Roman flogging: Steve will be waiting over in the corner with the whip.
Sermon by guest speaker Carrot Top: Wait until you see the props he uses to unlock the Scriptures.
Resurrection Stunt Spectacular: Experience the thrill of Jesus defeating death and the grave in a John Wick-style fight scene.
Get ready for the most insanely exciting Easter of your life! What else should megachurch visitors expect to see this Sunday? Post your ideas in the comments.
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