Man Holding Door For Woman Clearly Sexist Pig

COACHELLA, CA—Leaving The Bistro restaurant midday Tuesday after lunch with some girlfriends, Lauren Willis was subjected to a selfish and demeaning gesture: a smiling, middle-aged, narrow-minded, obtuse, sexist pig of a man held the door open for her.

“I couldn’t believe it,” Willis told reporters. “I was just trying to leave the restaurant of my own accord. The guy walking in front of me was exiting the restaurant as well, and instead of letting the door slam in my face, as he should have, since I am capable of opening the [expletive] door by myself, he pivoted quickly and without warning, smiled, and held the door open for me as I walked past him.”

“This misogynist obviously thought that since I’m a woman, I am incapable of opening a door by myself,” she added.

“What is this world coming to? Are we back in the 1950’s? Women need to stand up to this kind of belittlement.”

Willis confirmed to reporters that she has begun carrying pepper spray and “won’t hesitate” to use it to incapacitate any future would-be door-holders.