Youth Pastor Promoted To Real Pastor

SAN ANTONIO, TX—After years of toiling in a not-quite-a-real-pastor job, local youth pastor Chet Walden received an offer for a real pastor position Thursday, sources confirmed. According to reports, Walden immediately accepted the offer without reading any of the details, commenting to friends that he had “arrived” and his time of pre-pastorate testing was at an end.

“It’s a dream come true,” Walden told his youth group during an impromptu farewell address. “I’m glad that the Lord recognized my potential as I waited patiently for this period of tribulation to come to a close.” He then reportedly went on to thank the young church members for acting as his guinea pigs as he experimented with methods, sermon styles, and leadership philosophies that will serve him well as he goes on to do “meaningful work for the Lord.”

“There were some really rough times, like my misguided attempt to teach through portions of the Old Testament last summer. I literally didn’t study for that at all, since I was busy at seminary all week preparing for a real pastorate,” he said, eliciting an awkward laugh from his group.

“Well, I can’t say I’m gonna miss this too much, but I’ll be praying that you guys find another pre-pastor really soon,” he added.