Write-In Candidate ‘Come Sweet Death’ Received 15% Of Vote In AL Senate Election

ALABAMA—In the highly contentious special election for the vacant Alabama senator seat Tuesday, Democrat Doug Jones narrowly edged out Republican Roy Moore in the contest, while surprisingly popular mystery write-in candidate “Come Sweet Death” received a full 15% of the vote, the nation’s media reported Wednesday.

“It seems that a significant chunk of voters simply scrawled ‘Come Sweet Death’ across their ballots, rather than cast a vote for an extremely pro-abortion Democrat or a credibly accused pedophile,” a commentator at AL.com said Wednesday. “Many ballots were soaked in tears or even rent in two like some kind of priestly garment.”

Political pundits claim they’ve never seen a grassroots movement supporting a write-in candidate quite as widespread as the one behind this mystery “Come Sweet Death” candidate, although the phrase was scribbled across a significant number of ballots in the 2016 presidential race between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

At publishing time, pollsters had confirmed that other write-in candidates like “Release Me From This Prison,” “Die Steve Bannon,” and “Come Quickly, Lord” had also received scattered support throughout the state.