Woman Carefully Balances Facebook Shares Between Lewd Memes And Bible Verse Art

NOBLESVILLE, IN—Local woman Cheyenne Phillips displayed a masterful balancing act in alternating profanity and praise on Facebook Thursday, according to sources. Ms. Phillips, 32, had just come home from her moms group when she decided to share with her followers an amusing image of a 1950s-style housewife making a profanity-laden remark about laundry.

Without a missing a beat, Ms. Phillips then reportedly “liked” an acquaintance’s post on 1 Peter 1:16, left a “ROFL” comment on a luridly suggestive image posted by a friend, shared an inspiring video of a “Good Samaritan story” from the local news, and followed up with a tirade on ungrateful men that suggested, in colorful language, a biologically impossible act.

Expertly sensing the scales starting to tip toward the lewd side of things, she then shared an image she had created via the YouVersion Bible app, which superimposed in the words of Psalm 23:1 over a silhouetted figure raising her hands in triumph atop a mountain peak, immediately expiating any guilt from previous posts. Thus cleansed and assured, Ms. Phillips reportedly ended her Facebook session by sharing a marginal public figure’s extreme rant on immigrants, before tagging several friends in a post by her church about an upcoming mom-to-mom sale.

At publishing time, Phillips had reportedly began streaming a custom Pandora station, which consists of pop hits by artists like Flo Rida and Ke$ha, delicately intertwined with classic hymns sung by Fernando Ortega.