Wife Of Protestant Asks Him To Please Stop Nailing Grocery List To Front Door

STEPHENVILLE, TX—Reminding him that it was the third time he’s done it, the wife of local Protestant Steve Carey asked him Tuesday to please stop nailing the grocery list to the front door of their home, sources confirmed.

“Seriously, babe, why can’t you just stick it on the fridge with a magnet like a normal person?” she pleaded with Carey as he stood defiantly. “Or hey—you could put it on the cork board with a thumb tack. That’s almost the same as nailing it to the door—would that work for you?”

“Hun, it’s damaging the door. Front doors are really expensive,” she added. “It’s not like it’s some important document. It’s a grocery list! You are not Martin Luther, dear!”

Still, Carey refused to budge. “Here I stand,” came his reply.

At publishing time, the stubborn Protestant husband was reportedly penning 95 grievances about his marriage, which he planned to nail to the couple’s front door once his wife left to pick up the groceries.