CHICAGO, IL - Attendance records for the beginning of the Chicago White Sox's season obtained Monday revealed that the majority of Sox games are now being attended by fewer people than even the average Sunday service at an Episcopal Church.

"Where Episcopalians usually are able to wrangle up a dozen people or so for morning worship, the White Sox are averaging about three people a game," a journalist wrote at Bleacher Report. "The ball club would do well to study Episcopalian outreach methods and try to figure out what they can do better to maybe get 10 or 15 people to come watch them play at Guaranteed Rate Field."

"Maybe throw a hot dish social or two to garner up some interest," he concluded.