BRENTWOOD, CA—According to sources close to washed-up actor Johnny Rollins, the veteran of a number of Hollywood films who is no longer in demand recently expressed his enthusiasm for his new career starring in Christian movies.
Rollins’ career peaked about ten years ago, but according to the actor, his lack of starring roles in recent years isn’t the end of a lucrative film career, but rather the beginning of a new one in Christian movies.
“The public hasn’t seen me in a decent role in almost a decade, so I’m ripe for taking on new life in faith-based movies,” the actor said Monday.
The actor also stated he is ready to play literally any role studio executives can throw at him, from an angry, bitter atheist college professor to a wayward husband whose wife is constantly having to pray for him to bring him back to the straight and narrow path.
“I’m a method actor,” Rollins said. “I’ve already begun preparing myself by working on my knowing spiritual gaze at a sunset and my look of concern if one of my children starts listening to rock and roll.”
“I can’t wait to reintroduce myself to the American public with my newfound purpose in life,” he added.