U.S. - According to multiple sources across the country, millions of Americans were criticizing Venezuela's elections as "a joke," "rigged," or "a sham" Wednesday, despite the fact that they themselves had a binary choice between a crude reality TV star and a corrupt career politician.

The country forced to vote for either a repulsive politician with questionable integrity and a slimy, crass businessman was reportedly deeply critical of the "fake" and "illegitimate" election process in the South American country.

"It's like the people there didn't even have a real choice," said one man in Michigan who was forced to choose between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, or else vote for a person who didn't stand a single chance of winning the election.  "It's really sad when democracy just becomes a facade and the citizens' votes no longer have any meaning."

"I'm glad I live in America, where our vote counts," he added proudly.