Trump Vows To Get Justice Scalia Back On Supreme Court
Politics · Nov 1, 2016 · BabylonBee.com

VALLEY FORGE, PA - At a campaign stop Tuesday morning, Donald Trump made a bold promise to prospective evangelical and right-wing voters, committing to get reliably conservative Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia back onto the Supreme Court bench if elected, sources confirmed.

Justice Scalia has been dead since February.

"The Supreme Court has been a real nasty place without Scalia. A real nasty place," Trump said in his campaign speech to supporters and prospective voters gathered in a conference room at the Valley Forge Hilton DoubleTree in the battleground state of Pennsylvania. "You know it, I know it. Everybody knows it."

"So what I'm promising you is simple. Might not be easy, but it's simple. It's great. Really great. I'm going to get Scalia. I'll get him myself if I have to. I'm a great go-getter - really great. I'm going to get Scalia, and I'm going to put him back on the Supreme Court," he continued to rousing applause from his audience.

After motioning to the crowd to quiet down, Trump added, "We're going to do what we have to do to make the Supreme Court great again!" before heading back to his campaign bus.

At publishing time, Trump's poll numbers had skyrocketed among evangelicals and conservatives, presumably because of the innovative plan to get the long-dead Scalia back onto the bench.


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