BOULDER, CO - Well, fellow social justice warriors, we regret to report that the patriarchy has claimed another victim: meet Seth Ryder, a 4-year-old boy who is already reinforcing toxic traditional gender roles by choosing to play with a train set rather than his sister's Barbie collection.
Say it with us: this is not OK !
Although his sister's Barbie dolls were lying on the floor just waiting to be played with, Ryder walked right by them and began playing with the "choo-choos," obviously having been negatively influenced by years of institutionalized gender bias and patriarchy. His horrified parents tried everything to get him to play with the Barbies: they coaxed him, bribed him, and even spoke positive words of affirmation to him.
But it was too late, and the patriarchy had already taken hold: the young boy declared he liked big trains that go "VROOM! VROOM!" and not "yucky" Barbie dolls that don't even have a steam engine.
"It's too late for him," his mother said, tears welling up in her eyes. "We tried so hard to get him gender-neutral toys, clothes, diapers, pacifiers, and food. But the patriarchy is everywhere."
"It's so hard to see the little boy you worked so hard to immerse in your far-left progressive worldview turn out this way. I can't bear it," she continued.
Wow. The next time you decide to have harmful gendered toys in your house, think about what happened to little Seth, and try to do better.