U.S. — According to advertising experts, the reason television commercials no longer depict medicine as tiny little warriors murdering tiny little germs is because of "wokeness."
A recent survey of consumers indicated that people had grown hesitant to take medicine if they believed it would make them an accessory to germ murder.
"People don't want to see medicine blasting through a maze of trenches dug by germs in the lung's interior wall, even though there's nothing more compelling than seeing an amphibious assault conducted by NyQuil capsules," said David Sorter, a marketing agency director. "I really miss the days when medicine commercials were like Saving Private Ryan."
Gone are the days when a good ad would feature over-the-counter medicine waging war against germs inside the human body, with an increasingly sensitive culture obsessed with concepts of "wokeness" forcing a shift in ad executives who had become accustomed to filming tiny war movies playing out inside the human body.
According to doctors, the lack of heroic medicine in commercials has led to a rise in sickness among the population. "Depicting medicine heroically sacrificing itself to keep the human body healthy really helped people understand the danger of the common cold," said Dr. Anton Beverly. "Now people just want to make peace with the germs, and you can't do that. You can't negotiate with germs."
At publishing time, the Trump administration had ordered the CDC to call on drug companies to resume depicting medicine as tiny army men before it was too late.
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