Terrifying ‘It’ Sequel To Feature Pat Robertson Instead Of Pennywise The Clown

BURBANK, CA—In a bid to up the ante on the scares offered by the hit movie franchise, producers of the upcoming sequel to the most recent adaptation of Stephen King’s It confirmed Friday that they are casting evangelical leader Pat Robertson as himself to play the villain lurking in the sewers of Derry, rather than Pennywise the Dancing Clown as in the original.

The film will reportedly continue the story of the childhood friends who battle It in the first film, as they come together thirty years later to unite against Robertson’s horrific reign of terror.

“Just having Pat Robertson pop out of nowhere and start ranting about the new world order and feminism is much more frightening than Pennywise ever was,” It director Andy Muschietti said in an interview. “While an ancient, extraterrestrial evil that manifests itself as one’s childhood fears is pretty darn scary, we found with test viewers that Robertson is far more unsettling, with his devotion to wild-eyed conspiracy theories and deranged brand of fundamentalism.”

“Just thinking about him is giving me the creeps, to be honest,” he added with a shudder.

Producers reportedly watched thousands of hours of 700 Club footage before greenlighting the idea and getting Robertson to sign on to the film.

“We expect this to be one of the scariest films of all time,” the director promised.