WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Senate Select Committee on Ethics convened late Monday in order to begin an investigation into sexual misconduct allegations leveled at Senator Al Franken, as well as to discuss myriad other ongoing scandals taking place in American politics, with the committee being called to order at a Washington D.C. area Hooters Restaurant, sources confirmed.

The senators participating in the investigation claimed they chose the location for its privacy and excellent food.

"We will get to the bottom of these allegations, one way or another," one junior senator said as he ordered more hot wings from a skimpily dressed waitress. "We will not let the prestige of the United States Senate be dragged through the mud. We will get justice for these women."

At publishing time, the Ethics Committee had temporarily adjourned to provide time for several U.S. senators to get their picture taken in suggestive poses with their waitresses.