Saudi Arabian King Pinky-Promises To Only Use U.S.-Supplied Weapons For Good

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Amid concerns that the $110 billion arms deal signed by President Donald Trump would allow Saudi Arabia greater access to weapons the nation might use to fund and supply terrorists abroad, King Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud offered Trump a binding pinky-promise that the weapons would only be used for good, reports confirmed Monday.

“I hereby offer this fully binding pinky promise that we will not use any of the weapons acquired from the United States for global terrorism, harassing Christians, executing gays, or for any other nefarious purposes,” the king said through a translator. “We will only use these weapons for positive, uplifting purposes in the Middle East and around the world.”

After the two world leaders shook pinkies in a solemn ceremony, President Trump expressed his confidence that the king would abide by his pinky promise, despite his accusation that Saudi Arabia was behind the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.

“I’m very good at negotiating these kinds of deals,” the President told reporters. “I wrote a book on it. It’s a great book—the best, really. Because, you know, if you get the pinky promise, you’re good. You’re good.”