Report: 56% Of All Conversions Direct Result Of Christian T-Shirt Parodies

U.S.—A new study performed by the Pew Research Center found that 56% of those who become Christians are saved as a direct result of clever slogans on Christian T-shirts that parody popular brand names.

“When unbelievers behold the glory of a T-shirt that has the Reese’s logo modified to say ‘Jesus’ instead, it seems they can’t resist the saving power of the gospel,” research head Dr. Lewis Bryant said Wednesday. “The evidence is clear: wearing a shirt with a tacky parody of the KFC, Taco Bell, or Chevrolet logos is far more effective than witnessing to your friends and family.”

According to the study, the more janky the aped logo design looks, the more effective a tool for evangelism the T-shirt is. Articles of clothing with low-resolution spoofs of Star Wars, Coca-Cola, and Mountain Dew were found to be far more effective than really well-done Christian T-shirts with clear gospel messages.

“See, it’s clever because it looks like it says Intel Inside, but when you get closer, it says Jesus Inside,” one research intern said while holding up a particularly clever example. “The creative genius mixed with the gospel message makes it the perfect tool for converting the heathen.”

According to the full results of the study, one man in Portland reportedly walked by a believer wearing a “Got Jesus?” T-shirt and immediately fell to his knees weeping and crying out, “I don’t have Jesus! What must I do to be saved?”

“We found reactions like that all over the country,” the intern added. “The results are in: put on a T-shirt with a hokey Christian parody, and you’re sure to win the lost to Christ.”