Prophet Ezekiel Sent Down To Minors

WORLD—The major prophet Ezekiel has had better seasons, and was informed Tuesday that due to his persistent struggles thus far this year, he will be relocated to the minor league until further notice.

“Zeke’s quirky visions and stark calls to repentance haven’t resonated with modern audiences, and we’re hoping a little stretch down in the minors will tweak his message toward a positive and encouraging theme with more practical application,” a team representative said.

“He’s just not connecting the way he used to.”

The spokesperson refused to comment on rumors that Zechariah would be bumped up to the majors to take Ezekiel’s place.