Progressive Reverend Draws Question Marks With Ashes On Parishioners’ Foreheads

GREEN WILLOWS, SC—Sources from St. Peter’s Episcopal Church confirmed Wednesday that progressive Reverend Laura Frier rubbed ashes in the form of a question mark on every parishioner’s forehead, in lieu of the traditional sign of the cross.

“We just really don’t know, you know?” the Reverend said. “We knew we couldn’t go with a cross—far too offensive, really. We felt the question mark was much more open and inclusive than putting the horrifying symbol of a Roman execution device on everyone.”

“That’s what the gospel’s all about, I think? I just don’t really know,” she added.

As parishioners lined up to receive the traditional mark of ashes at the front of the church, Frier solemnly marked them with the sacred question mark symbol while speaking the words of blessing, “Question everything,” over each person.

At publishing time, reports indicated that other progressive ministers had spelled words like “RESIST” and “REALLY?” using the blessed ashes from the Western Christian tradition.