Portrait Of William Tyndale Begins Crying Blood After Release Of ‘Emoji Bible’

DALLAS, TX—A portrait of Bible translator William Tyndale which hangs prominently in the home study of theologian and preacher Dr. Steven Lawson began crying what appear to be tears of blood immediately after the release of the so-called “Emoji Bible.”

The miraculous and baffling sign occurred as word spread around the internet that the “Bible Emoji: Scripture 4 [sic] Millenials” app had been released onto the Apple App Store. The app, which replaces key words of the King James Bible with emojis and claims to introduce “a great and fun way to share the gospel,” also appears to have inadvertently introduced great grief and mourning among God’s people, living and dead.

A source within Lawson’s OnePassion Ministries confirmed the authenticity of the tears Thursday after Dr. Lawson tweeted an image of the Tyndale painting along with a three-word caption: “Come, Lord Jesus.”

Dr. Lawson, who sources confirmed had torn his finely-pressed dress shirt and necktie in a fit of anguish, was unavailable for comment, as he was in his study weeping tears of blood also.