As kids, few gifts were more cherished than a new set of little plastic army men. We spent hundreds of hours recreating all sorts of battles, and the reality is that some of these little guys are made for glory, and others are doomed for destruction. Here are the definitive rankings of the plastic army men:
#10: Vacuum guy (or gal?)
In last place, this loser just cleans up after the battle. What a chump.
#9 Just got shot in head guy
Also known as Corporal LeBron.
#8: Guy telling joke about German he just killed
Funny, but over the line. Do better, army guy.
#7: Binocular guy
Cannon fodder. Keep waving good-bye, sucker.
#6: Crawling or maybe dead guy
At least he's versatile!
#5: Radio guy
Sure, he's gonna die, but he gets to yell, "I need air support, NOW!"
#4: Double mortar round guy
This dude is DOUBLE FISTING mortar shells. American hero.
#3: Bayonet guy
Now we're talking. DIEEE!!!!
#2: Bazooka guy
What an absolute boss. Love you, bazooka guy.
#1: Ultimate warrior guy
Screaming while running with a machine gun on a bipod, strapped with ammo, still got his knife and grenade on him, this guy's about to mow down EVERYONE.
Thank you for all of your service, little plastic army men.
This freshman had a bright future ahead of her, but then her parents spent $250K to send her to a public university.
