Planned Parenthood Releases Abortion Discussion Guide

NEW YORK, NY—As part of its ongoing campaign to continue receiving tax dollars to perform its services, Planned Parenthood just released the above graphic intended to assist the organization’s supporters in their discussions, debates, and arguments with pro-life advocates.

The infographic contains what Planned Parenthood calls the “three basic steps” of arguing the pro-choice position: shutting one’s eyes to any evidence presented, plugging up one’s ears to any rationale, and screaming something about “women’s rights,” “patriarchy,” and “choice” at the top of one’s lungs.

“The intention of our carefully crafted argumentation guide is to ensure no pro-choice advocates are exposed to dangerous evidence that might convince them that a fetus is anything other than a part of a woman’s body, and definitely not a unique human being,” Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards said in a statement.

Richards also stated that the line of argumentation can be enhanced by screaming your chosen pro-choice mantra into a megaphone or other amplification device.

“The less you can hear of your opponent’s argument, the better,” she said.

Asked how Planned Parenthood supporters were supposed to deal with DNA evidence proving that a fetus is a unique human being, Richards suddenly screamed, “WHY DO YOU HATE WOMEN?” sources confirmed.