Phil Vischer Still Unable To Eat Vegetables Without Pervasive Sense Of Guilt

WHEATON, IL—Famed VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer is still struck with a pervasive sense of guilt whenever he is served a plate or side of vegetables, or prepares them himself as part of a meal, sources close to the animator and voice actor confirmed Thursday.

The man who brought a set of anthropomorphized vegetables to life for years is often seen staring off into the void, seemingly paralyzed as he contemplates the meaning of existence whenever he sees a cucumber sliced into pieces or a tomato diced for serving on a crisp, fresh house salad.

At publishing time, sources close to Vischer had confirmed that he often breaks out in cold sweats throughout the night, and leaps up from nightmares screaming, “I’m sorry, Larry! I was just so hungry!”