Pastor Tragically Discovers Snapchat

SANDUSKY, OH—Sources close to Pastor Brandon Gunthry somberly confirmed Tuesday the Baptist minister of the gospel had tragically discovered the Snapchat messaging app and social network.

Gunthry immediately added everyone in his congregation to his friends list and began blasting them all indiscriminately with hundreds of Snaps using funny filters, according to mortified members of his church.

“It’s just a real tragedy,” one young woman in Gunthry’s congregation told reporters. “We thought the time he discovered Instagram was bad, but hoo boy. He’s using the voice changers, every filter imaginable, the whole nine yards.”

At publishing time, the pastor had called a staff meeting to “press in” on ways the church could exploit the social network for outreach purposes.