NORTH BRUNSWICK, NJ—After reading all the buzz about the recently released Logos 7 Bible Software and deciding he needed to get it in order to fully immerse himself in God’s word, Pastor Richard Fields of First Baptist Church took out a second loan on his modest home to foot the bill, sources reported Thursday.
“When I saw that there was a Collector’s Edition, I knew I had to have it,” Fields told reporters after the deal was done. “But at ten grand—hoo boy—I don’t have that kind of cash laying around. Tapping into my home equity was really the only way I could swing it.”
“But this software has—listen to this—‘A carefully curated theological library containing 4,822 resources,'” he read directly from the Logos website on his phone’s browser. “Seriously—are you kidding me? This thing will probably brew my coffee and cook my breakfast while I’m busy doing morning devotionals.”
“My pastor friends are going to be so jealous,” he added.
When pressed about how he will afford Logos 8 upon its inevitable future release, Fields became visibly uncomfortable and admitted that he had not thought that far ahead.