New Pre-Highlighted Bible Released

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—In one of its most hotly anticipated product releases in years, Zondervan announced Wednesday the availability of its new Highlighted Word Bible, a collected on the Scriptures in the NIV translation that comes with selected verses in every book and chapter already highlighted.

“Right out of the box, it looks like it’s been labored over, studied, and contemplated deeply,” a Zondervan representative told reporters. “Bring the Highlighted Word Bible to your next study and your friends won’t believe their eyes when they see the book of Nahum all marked up.”

“You’ll really look super-spiritual.”

The Bibles are reportedly each highlighted by hand in order to maintain an appearance of authenticity—which is the reason for their hefty price of $299.99 each.

At publishing time, the Zondervan rep confirmed that the entire first printing of one million copies had been sold out and they were working feverishly to catch up with demand.