PALMETTO, FL—If you’re looking for an exciting multi-level-marketing business to join in order to make a little extra cash and show your friends what an awesome boss babe you are, look no further. While many MLM businesses struggle to come up with an interesting or useful product for their independent sales managers to sell in order to pretend they’re not a pyramid scheme, new startup company Le Garbàge literally just makes you sell bags of festering garbage to your friends and family.
You can get started with Le Garbàge for just $199.99, after which you’re authorized to purchase the company’s official bags of overflowing waste and refuse for $149.99 each. Reps can resell the leaking, toxic plastic bags filled with rotting fruit and discarded food wrappers for $299.99 each, pocketing the profit, minus the 95% spent paying their upline.
“Tired of trying to convince your friends they need to buy yet another essential oil or stretchy pair of pants covered with a hideous pattern?” a promotional video for the new pyramid company begins. “Now you can just be upfront, and tell them you’re literally selling them a large sack of actual trash.”
“It’s total garbage. We’re very transparent about that,” the video continued, showing close-up shots of the various moldy banana peels, dirty diapers, and suspicious sticky substances that would come jam-packed in every bag.
The company further stated it was thinking about introducing new products like literal piles of poop and fuming barrels of toxic waste to its catalog in the coming year.