Neil DeGrasse Tyson Prepares To Celebrate Eclipse With New Wave Of Condescending Tweets

NEW YORK, NY—In celebration of the total solar eclipse visible from a large portion of the nation, pop astrophyicist Neil deGrasse Tyson reportedly began preparing a new barrage of condescending tweets for his online followers Monday morning.

The popular scientist racked his brain for ways to connect the cosmic event with hot-button social issues in a way that lets his followers know how much smarter than them he is.

“Let’s see, how can I make fun of religion while communicating already well-known facts about the eclipse in a condescending manner?” Tyson reportedly muttered to himself while staring at a blank status box on twitter.com. “I could do something about evolution, transgenderism, or gender equality too. There’s gotta be a connection to my pet social issues there. Come on, Neil, think!”

“I wish I hadn’t wasted all my good asinine zingers when Star Wars came out,” he lamented to himself, according to sources.

At publishing time, Tyson had settled on attacking climate change deniers and creationists with his upcoming flurry of completely banal eclipse observations.