Nation’s Productivity Up 54% Since End Of World Series, Baseball Statisticians Report

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Baseball statisticians reported Friday that America’s workforce has increase productivity by 54% in the roughly 36 hours since the World Series ended, sources confirmed.

Analysts measured work achievement above replacement (WAAR) for baseball fans across the country, and found that most employees suffered a dramatic drop in production during the Fall Classic, compared with replacement staff who did not attempt to remain awake for the seven games, most of which ended after midnight Eastern time.

During the dramatic series between the Houston Astros and Los Angeles Dodgers, with back-and-forth games lasting late into the night, workers suffered major declines in on-task percentage (OTP) and weighted on-task average (wOTA), which experts predict will continue to rise dramatically now that fans of the national pastime will resume sleeping.

Using advanced sabermetrics, experts predict that the increased productivity is expected to last about four months, until the start of the NCAA March Madness basketball tournament.