Merciful Mark Zuckerberg Allows Three Whole People To See Conservative Post

MENLO PARK, CA—In a moment of mercy and graciousness, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg kindly allowed up to three whole people to see a post by a conservative news site, sources close to the tech guru said Thursday.

An automated alert reportedly let Zuckerberg know that the site had posted a story supporting an unapproved worldview. Leaning back in his office chair and tenting his fingers thoughtfully, Zuckerberg decided to allow two people in Ohio and one man in Nebraska to see the post.

“Oh, what’s this?” he said thoughtfully as the post popped up on his alert feed. “A conservative site trying to reach its hundreds of thousands of followers with its content? How quaint.”

“But, I am a gracious master. I shall let a few people see this unsightly content. I am a fair man, after all. I can be reasoned with,” he said to no one in particular, cracking his knuckles and getting to work.

A slow, sinister smile spread across Zuckerberg’s face as he manually set the post’s reach limit to a full three people, ensuring the thousands of people who had asked to see the site’s content on their newsfeed would never even know the post existed, save for the few lucky ones he so graciously selected, according to sources.

In a moment of whimsy, Zuckerberg had allowed a full fourteen people to see a Christian website’s satire post, sources confirmed at publishing time.