Mark Driscoll Finally Publicly Apologizes For Faux Hawk

PHOENIX, AZ—Saying the Lord had finally brought him out of a “prolonged season of stubbornness and hard-heartedness,” Mark Driscoll finally publicly apologized for the faux hawk he sported during his time leading Mars Hill Church in a video posted to his website Monday.

“I am deeply sorry for the pain my hairstyle choices have caused countless individuals—I confess my sin without excuse and publicly ask for your forgiveness,” Driscoll said, adding a specific apology to the numerous faithful brothers and sisters who tried to reason with him over the years to reconsider his faux hawk in light of his office, influence, and receding hairline—counsel he persistently wrote off as attacks from the enemy.

“It’s been years since I’ve brushed my hair from both sides of my head up toward the middle, sticking it upward with gel,” he continued. “I pridefully thought it was enough for me to just switch to the side-part and sports coat and move on, but I now see how wrong I was to never publicly own up to the chaos I personally caused with my pointy hair, not to mention some of my other fashion choices like white jackets and Affliction tees.”

While he admitted shame for the amount of time it took him come to his senses and repent, Driscoll offered his gratitude to God for allowing him to see his error, before promising to stay accountable to trustworthy men so he can get on with the Father’s business.