WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of women gathered in Washington Saturday, marching to support a woman's right to choose total submission to the organizers' exclusive political agenda.

Sources confirm the Women's March on Washington, co-sponsored by Planned Parenthood and NARAL Pro-Choice America, invites women from all walks of life to join together and express their views, except for those who disagree with the event's official platform, which includes uncompromising support for open access to legalized abortion.

"I strongly defend every woman's right to choose to fully agree with me on unlimited and unhindered access to abortion for any reason," said Cecile Richards, CEO of Planned Parenthood and featured speaker at the march. "Women of all cultures, political affiliations, and backgrounds must be free to choose to align themselves with our exact political stance on this issue. We reject those who would rob women of their right to dutifully express total compliance with what we tell them to think about abortion. This march is all about unity."

Members of the New Wave Feminists, a pro-life women's advocacy group blocked by organizers from attending the event because of their pro-life stance, were nonetheless encouraged to know that women were marching in Washington, defending their right to fall in line with the narrow political viewpoint tolerated by the march's wealthy and powerful organizers.