Man’s Bible Degree Fully Preparing Him For Rewarding Career As Barista

TWIN HAMPTONS, SC—Many people don’t have the opportunity to receive advanced training in biblical studies, so local man Brent Anderson felt blessed and humbled when he was accepted to Hampton Bible College last fall.

According to Anderson, the heavy load of Bible and theology courses he has taken over the course of his first year has fully prepared him to make a variety of coffees and specialty drinks in a rewarding career as a barista.

“When I’m peering deeply into the mysteries of Christ and the gospel, I’m more sure than ever that God is calling me to serve various coffee-based beverages for the rest of my life,” Anderson told reporters Tuesday. “This season of preparation will pay priceless dividends when a demanding suburbanite requests a decaf grande 1/2 nonfat, 1/2 almond milk, steamed at 125—I’m talking exactly 125, not 124, not 126—no foam, extra caramel drizzle, extra mocha drizzle, Marble Mocha Machiato with extra whip in a venti cup.”

“The going may get tough, but when I stand proudly with my Bible diploma in hand, I’ll know that I’m 100 percent equipped to glorify God in a long and fulfilling career in food service,” he added.

At publishing time, Anderson had confirmed his plans to pursue a Master of Divinity degree in hopes of becoming a shift manager one day.