Man Tased While Attempting To Shake Megachurch Pastor’s Hand

ALBANY, NY—If you’re going to make a bold move like attempting to shake your megachurch pastor’s hand as he makes a beeline for the green room after service, make sure your church’s security team isn’t armed.

That’s the lesson learned by local man Troy Brogan this past Sunday, as the visitor darted toward Pastor Dave Hanson of Grove Brook Community Church and cheerily extended his hand to thank him for the message. Brogan managed to get within mere inches of Hanson’s person before the church’s crack squad of security personnel jumped into action, firing a high-powered taser gun with stunning accuracy right into the man’s back.

“Thanks for the great message, Pastor DaaarrrggglllebrrggleaaaaAAAAAA!!!” Brogan reportedly screamed as he crumpled to the floor, where he convulsed violently for several moments.

The pastor was reportedly able to leap out of the way, narrowly avoiding making contact with a church member, before he was quickly escorted to safety by staff members.

“That was a close one,” Hanson said later in a video posted to Instagram as he flew to a stop on his book tour. “I may not know the names of my security staff, but I’m eternally grateful to each and every one of them for their service.”