BOSTON, MA - According to sources, local man Steve Harrison fervently prayed Thursday that the Lord would speak to him and make His will for the man's life clear, all while sitting literally three feet away from God's Word as revealed in the Bible.

"Father God, if you would just, speak to me Father God," Harrison prayed as God's prophetic word made more sure sat just on the other end of the table at which he was seated.

"If you would just show me your plan for my life, and just reveal your truth to me, Father God," he continued, somehow missing the fact that God's truth had already been perfectly revealed to him in the Scriptures. "I just really need you to speak to me personally, Lord."

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that a frustrated Harrison eventually gave up on trying to hear God's words and resigned himself to just reading the Bible instead.