Man Chooses Self As Accountability Partner

ST GEORGE, UT—Feeling a deep conviction over his indwelling sin and recognizing his need for some serious, hard-hitting accountability, local man Ryan McKenzie announced he had selected himself as his own accountability partner Friday afternoon.

“I have carefully considered all candidates in my life,” McKenzie wrote on his blog. “I thought and prayed deeply over the matter, because I recognize I fall short on my own and need someone who won’t pull any punches and who will help me to see my blind spots—someone who is godly and mature. For my accountability partner, therefore, the choice is clear: myself.”

Reporters reached out to McKenzie’s accountability partner, Ryan McKenzie, to find out what his strategy was for keeping himself from falling into the old habits of sin that have become more and more prevalent recently. “Well, the beauty of accountability is you don’t have to go through things on your own. When I’m feeling tempted, I’ll make sure that I ask myself if I really want to succumb to the temptation or not, and I’m sure that will be sufficient to keep me from sinning. I have my number so I can always text myself and ask how things are going. I might even get us matching WWJD bracelets to see if that helps.”

As a specific sin-fighting example, McKenzie told reporters that he is installing anti-pornography software on his computer, which will email a list of the questionable sites he visits each day to himself for review.

McKenzie told reporters he is confident he can keep McKenzie accountable. “Iron sharpens iron,” he said.