KENOSHA, WI—Pastor Doug Gosport, 53, admitted that his recent forays into “doing life together” with people in his church and community were really just an excuse to do whatever he felt like doing, sources confirmed.
“Frankly, it’s genius,” Gosport reportedly crowed to two of his friends during a weekend golf outing. “Normally, you get all sorts of flak from the family if you want to go grab something to eat and just watch the game, you know? But if I tell my wife I’ve got some guys I need to ‘do life with,’ she instantly approves, no questions asked. That’s actually what I told her I’m doing right now!” he laughed, before stepping up to the tee box and driving the ball.
“So basically, it’s a ticket to do whatever I want,” Gosport continued. “I just call it ‘doing life together,’ and boom—I can do no wrong. The other day, I was supposed to paint the garage, but I put on my concerned face and said I really needed to go ‘do life’ with Jerry. So Jerry and I got to go fishing for five hours instead.”
According to sources, Gosport went on to note that the applications of “doing life together” are essentially limitless.
“Any fun thing I want to go do becomes a church-endorsed ‘outreach’ activity—write-offs and all—as long as I use those magic words. This month alone, I’ve used it to go to Ed’s Pub three times, a ball game, bowling, and the Boat, Sport, and Travel Show. The elder board even told me the other day that they’re super-impressed at how I’m ‘continually coming alongside’ others.”
The group was reportedly planning to go “do life” at a local Buffalo Wild Wings after the conclusion of their round.