At Long Last: Toyota Releases A Car That Runs On Positive Faith Declarations

TOYOTA, JAPAN—Toyota’s long-awaited vehicle that runs solely on positive faith declarations is finally ready for production and has been officially dubbed the “Favor” for U.S. markets, sources at the Japanese automaker confirmed Monday.

The move comes as car manufacturers continue to search for the perfect renewable energy vehicle, and it looks like Toyota may have a real winner on their hands with the 2018 Favor model.

“As you drive along the highway, simply shout phrases like ‘I am a winner!’ and ‘I can do all things through Christ!’ and you’ll be propelled along the road at a comfortable rate of speed,” a Toyota rep said. “The car’s patented internal sensors will detect your level of faith in your own creative power and adjust the speed of the vehicle accordingly as it feeds on your ability to speak acceleration into existence.”

When drivers of the Favor want to stop the car, they can simply start to think negative thoughts like “I am a depraved sinner saved by grace” and “I am too weak to tackle life on my own,” Toyota engineers confirmed.

The car will reportedly go on sale late this year, with Toyota making special financing offers for those who can declare positive messages over their credit history.