Local Woman Discovers Prayer Request–Gossip Loophole

COLUMBUS, GA—Local woman Georgine Sanders revealed Friday she had discovered a loophole that allowed her to pass on juicy morsels of gossip and simultaneously appear extra-spiritual to other church members.

Dubbed the “Prayer Request–Gossip Loophole,” the exploit requires that one simply join the church’s prayer team, and then pass on every scandalous rumor or harmful bit of gossip as a “prayer request,” according to Sanders.

“It’s really great,” she said. “I get to call myself a ‘prayer warrior’ while getting plugged into the very best gossip pipeline around: the prayer request list.”

“I just make sure to append any gossip I spread with ‘so we really need to pray for them,’ otherwise the trick doesn’t work,” she added.

Sanders further claimed that in the first week of exploiting the loophole alone she was able to freely gossip about a rumored affair, a wayward teen in the congregation who may be gay, and how much money the pastor makes, all under the guise of interceding wholeheartedly for each of the people involved.