Local Man Enjoys Deep Sabbath Rest In Third Pew

CHARLOTTE, NC—Taking seriously the Lord’s command to honor the Sabbath rest Sunday morning, local man Michael Park piously took part in a restful Sabbath nap in the third pew of First United Methodist Church, witnesses confirmed Monday.

Onlookers claimed Park sang several of the church’s opening songs before completely conking out in the first five minutes of Reverend Pinkman’s sermon, in a spiritual symbol of the rest we have in Christ.

“Jesus is our Sabbath rest,” Park told reporters after the service as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “I have committed my life to radically demonstrating to others how we Christians can make every effort to enter that rest, in a practical sense.”

“During the sermon, usually,” he added.

“After all, how shall we escape if we neglect such a great opportunity to rest in Christ, in the comfort of the particularly plushy third row?”