Local Church Adds Pew-Back Entertainment Consoles

WEST COVINA, CA—To keep congregants occupied for the full length of the church service, Waterbrook Church announced Thursday it had finally installed pew-back entertainment consoles throughout the sanctuary for all to enjoy.

The consoles include hundreds of the latest Hollywood movies for instant viewing during Sunday services, along with thousands of pop, rock, and hip-hop albums, and even a countdown that lets audience members know when the service is expected to be over.

“Just plug your earbuds into the aux jack, and you’ll be whisked away from the dullness of the modern church service into a multimedia wonderland,” pastor Lou Trundle said in a video announcing the new technology on Waterbrook’s website. “No longer do you have to endure singing songs with other Christians or having your beliefs challenged by the message.”

“It’s the best of both modern entertainment and the old paths,” he added. “The wires are even hidden in the hollowed-out pew tops. That’s definitely a sermon illustration, right there.”

Parishioners will be asked to turn off the entertainment consoles during important parts of the service, like the church’s hilarious skits and any movie clips Pastor Lou plays as part of the morning’s sermon.