LOS ANGELES, CA—Local believer Mike Crowder reported Thursday that he is really proud of himself for the way he has selflessly learned to love everyone who is exactly like him.
The man has somehow been able to self-sacrificially empathize with and show love and support to people who are nearly identical to him in race, politics, socioeconomic background, and religion throughout his entire life, reports confirmed.
“Radical, Christ-centered love means respecting and understanding the viewpoints of everyone who already agrees with you,” Crowder said in a blog post. “It’s a long, hard road of giving more and more of yourself, but it’s worth it in the end, since you can say you’ve walked in someone else’s shoes, which are remarkably similar to your own.”
According to Crowder, the first step to learning to love like Jesus is to make sure the people you’re trying to love meet all your requirements by agreeing with you on all major theological and political issues, and then you can start pouring yourself into their lives.
“As long as the person meets your criteria, you can start showing them that ‘agape’ love that Jesus taught us about,” he remarked. “I’m really good at that.”