Lakewood Church Concession Vendors Set For Big Sunday Debut

HOUSTON, TX—The biggest church in America is stepping things up a notch in the service department. Lakewood Church will be unleashing its well-trained, mobile concession vendors into the stands of the former Compaq Center Sunday morning, according to a Friday press release.

“Lakewood Church has always been dedicated to convenience and comfort,” a church representative wrote in the statement posted on the church’s website. “And now our guests will be able to enjoy a variety of snacks like hot dogs, popcorn, and sodas during the service, without ever leaving their seats.”

If various trial runs conducted throughout the past year are any indication, the concession vendors will be a hit among churchgoers, while adding “something like mid-seven-figures” to the annual bottom line, according to sources.

Among the snacks on the menu are “Victory Vanilla Cones,” “Champion Chips,” “Name-Em-And-Claim-Em Nachos,” and “Destiny Dogs.”

In addition to the roaming concessions, Lakewood has plans to roll out cheerleading teams and T-shirt cannons by the end of the year, sources confirmed.