HOUSTON, TX - Pastor Joel Osteen proudly stood in front of his congregation Sunday morning and reassured his church members that he would continue to preach the false prosperity gospel, even in the face of withering criticism.

Osteen graciously responded to unfair criticism of his ministry by redoubling his efforts to deceive millions of people into believing an unbiblical distortion of the gospel.

"There will always be voices of negativity in your life," Osteen said to the cheers of the crowd. "There will always be haters. There will always be those that don't want God's best for you. I just want each and every one of you to know that no matter how much critics try to tear me down, I will be here, speaking words of positivity over you and preaching the false gospel of prosperity into your lives."

"Remember, they can talk about Lakewood Church all they want, but we have to choose to remain vigilant in our mission to spread the completely made up modern American gospel of health and wealth. God will help us pursue our destiny to promote the Word-Faith movement as long as we continue to name and claim God's blessings and release His power in this church!"