Jaws Of Life Needed To Remove Worship Leader’s Skinny Jeans

NASHVILLE, TN—CornerStone Church Worship Leader Matt Caskey reportedly went into the church men’s room after morning services on Sunday, only to discover to his horror that he was stuck in his skinny jeans and could not get out, sources reported Tuesday.

An embarrassed Caskey called a friend for help, who eventually gathered several more men who used a variety of methods and objects to try to free him from his airtight jeans which had adhered to his legs, all with no luck. When the groundskeeper deemed the situation hopeless, Caskey was forced to call the Nashville Fire Department.

After exhausting a plethora of sharp tools and devices, firefighters were able to successfully free Caskey from his disturbingly tight, vacuum-sealed trousers using the Jaws of Life, a hydraulic apparatus normally used to pry apart the wreckage of crashed vehicles in order to free people trapped inside.

Nashville firefighter Jared Willis, who is credited with liberating the worship leader from his pants, called it a scary situation. “Whenever the Jaws are brought out, you know it’s bad. I’ve only had to use them a few times in my career, and every experience is one I’d rather forget. This one, though . . . this one will haunt me. The man’s pants were so unbelievably tight—they had no business being on his legs. They wouldn’t have fit my three-year-old niece. It was simply a terrifying situation.”

“I mean, they were just painted on,” he added.