JERUSALEM — After definitively declaring that he would not believe in Jesus' resurrection unless he saw and touched him, the Apostle Thomas was completely humiliated to learn that Jesus was right behind him the whole time.
"I'm just saying, we need proof," Thomas was explaining, gesturing emphatically as several disciples began subtly nodding toward something over his shoulder. "I'm not saying I disbelieve you, but we're talking a resurrection! I need hard evidence. Physical evidence. Preferably — "
Thomas paused mid-sentence, noticing that no one was looking at him anymore or even blinking.
"He's... he's right behind me, isn't he?" sighed Thomas, slowly turning around.
According to eyewitnesses, the room erupted in laughter as Thomas hung his head in shame, while Christ placed Thomas's hands over his wounds.
"You guys are going to be cool about this, right? Like, maybe not right this down in your books or give me any nickname or anything?" asked Thomas.
"Oh, I doubt we'd do anything like that," snickered Matthew. "Don't worry, buddy."
At publishing time, Thomas had gotten the feeling something was on his shoulder after declaring that he wouldn't believe in the descent of the Holy Spirit until he had some physical sign of it.
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