Guilt-Ridden Tim Tebow Apologizes For Stealing Second Base

SCOTTSDALE, AZ—After stealing second base in an Arizona Fall League game Thursday, former football player and now Scottsdale Scorpions left fielder Tim Tebow was reportedly overcome with a wave of guilt, and promptly apologized to the opposing team for his sin against them.

Having been walked in the third inning, Tebow picked up on the opposing pitcher’s slow delivery from the stretch, and dashed for second base on the first pitch to the subsequent hitter, making it easily.

But everyone watching could see that something was clearly wrong with Tebow, as he hung his head in apparent shame and covered his face with his hands after the display of heads-up baserunning. Motioning to the umpire for a timeout, Tebow trotted back to first base, apologizing profusely to the pitcher, catcher, and first baseman, for his “inexcusable” lapse in judgment.

“I blatantly violated the Eighth Commandment, and I repent,” Tebow told reporters after the game. “It just goes to show that we fall short of God’s glory daily, and rely on His grace to help us move forward after we fail,” he said humbly, shaking his head at his “selfish and brash act of sin.”

“As the Scriptures say, ‘Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall,'” he added before retiring to his locker room to pray for forgiveness.