Orthodox Judeo-Christian theology claims that God is both all-powerful and all-good.

But this presents an enormous problem for the theist. If God is all-good and all-loving, and he has the power to accomplish anything he wills, then why did he allow George Lucas to create the Star Wars prequels?

When George Lucas sat down some autumn afternoon out on one of the verandas at Skywalker Ranch and began penning The Phantom Menace, with its two-dimensional characters and pointless plot, no all-powerful god living somewhere in the clouds stopped him.

When the first test footage of Jar Jar Binks surfaced and Lucas said something to the effect of, "Great job, guys. This really fulfills the vision of what I had in mind for this character," no omnipotent deity struck him dead. There was no lightning from the sky, no sudden cardiac arrest. When we needed God most, he was silent.

Really - if God is everything you say he is, how can you possibly explain Jar Jar Binks?

And when Lucas kept penning asinine lines like, "I have the high ground!" and "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere," where was your so-called god?

He didn't come to judge Lucas at any point during the travesty that was Episodes I-III. Any good and powerful god would have turned Skywalker Ranch into a smoldering crater where nothing else could ever grow, and yet your god remained silent.

I posit, then, that your "god" is no god at all. Either he was powerful enough to stop the Star Wars prequels from happening and didn't, meaning he can't possibly be all-good - or else he wanted the prequels stopped and couldn't do it, meaning he can't possibly be all-powerful.

Either way, the Star Wars prequels prove, once and for all, that the Christian concept of a "god" is no more real than George Lucas' ridiculous concept of midichlorians.